reflecting.

as this year comes to a close, and i'm hitting the six month mark since i quit my full-time job, i've been doing a lot of thinking. i would be lying if i said the transition hasn't had its ups and downs.

some days, i just wish it would be easier. even as i make progress (i'm now teaching an average of two-three yoga classes a week) and good things happen (students coming up to me after class and telling me they loved it) it still feels altogether too slow. i'm impatient. and uncomfortable. and worried about failing at every moment.

i try to remind myself that being outside of my comfort zone is a good thing; it's where growth happens. but sometimes people say (unintentionally) hurtful things, and my self esteem plummets. the other day i was referred to as someone who "doesn't work." my heart ached. "maybe it's true," i thought. maybe this is how the world views me?

as a friend once told me, it's easy to dismiss "work" that can't be measured in titles, raises, and promotions. a lot of people don't understand why i wouldn't want to have a "career" in the way that they do.

but the good news is i love teaching yoga. i'm just crossing my fingers for more yoga classes in the new year, and perhaps another job too.

so, my dear readers, i'd love to hear if any of you have any thoughts to share on this subject. freelancers, moms, artists, and fellow yoga teachers... have you experienced similar things? how do you deal with people who aren't supportive of your life choices?

p.s. while i'm on this subject, i'm happy to announce that i now teach yoga at soni yoga studio in burlington. i have a regular class on wednesdays, at 10 a.m. and will be subbing often too. please come join me, and say hello! :) beginners welcome.

(photo credit: ismay ozga)

the positives.

so, as some of you know, this week was a little bit blergy for me. nothing in particular happened; just lots of little things added up.

well, poor simon had to hear me whine all week, so when he came home last night he immediately launched the "grumpiness recovery program."

part one, focus on the positives:

1. we are planning a mini-moon to chicago next month. we're going to explore the windy city for a few days and eat our weight in pizza. (chicago recommendations welcome!)

2. tomorrow we are going to visit some friends who have a new puppy. i can't wait to meet him.

3. whenever we talk about growing old together, simon busts out this heavy new england "old man" voice and talks about "kids these days". it makes me laugh so hard. i love him.

part two is to have fun: we're going to eat mexican food tonight, watch a silly movie tomorrow, take lots of pictures and maybe, just maybe... bake some red velvet cupcakes.

(photo credit: antufev)

a girl can dream.

the past couple of days i have been working in a very uninspired place: a hotel. but if i close my eyes and try hard enough, i can almost pretend i am sitting at a desk like this one and that the shelves above me are filled with my favorite books, all kinds of quirky memorabilia, and photographs of my loved ones.

(and in my dream, i am also listening to miles davis and a dog is curled up at my feet. sigh.)

now i'm curious... where do you usually work from? do you love it or hate it?


(photo credit: jessieroth)

just a little reminder...

happy monday, everyone.

(photo credit: sarah gardner)

two thousand and ten.

i am really excited about 2010. it's the year i'll walk down the aisle, become mrs. simon, and also become a yoga teacher. huzzah!

but for now, simon and i are both sick; i burst into tears late last night because i felt so sorry for myself (and decided the best solution to all of my troubles was to take them out on simon who had just arrived from the airport); and last but not least, our condo is cluttered in reminders that christmas is over. wah.

it's a good thing we have lots of red wine and a steak dinner to look forward to later. :)

happy new year!

(photo credit: jordan blanchard)

happiness is...

... pumpkin beer and listening to the radio.

... fresh brewed coffee and discovering gorgeous vintage typewriters in second hand shops.

... the smell of clean laundry and bundles of yarn (in our wedding colors no less).

what has been making you happy lately?

(photo credits: the cheshire smile, sandra juto, ta, perfect bound, nevara, and britt - cucumbersome)

life lesson # 4

my dolls, take it from me-- a recovering people pleaser-- it's time to stop worrying about what other people think.

i have to say, one of my favorite things about getting older is that the urge to make everyone around me happy is losing steam. i don't know how or why it happens, but it just does.

one day you wake up and think to yourself: "wait a second! this is MY life."

and from that moment on, you begin the journey of loving your own ideas, your own instincts, and your own decisions.

and in case you were worried... somehow, miraculously, you still end up nurturing, adoring, and taking care of the people you love. and you still want them to be happy... but you do it effortlessly, and without resentment. you do it because you want to.

it's pretty cool.

so, tell me, are you a people pleaser?

some day...

... i hope simon and i have our own little pumpkin.

(photo credit: i saw today)

what's on the menu today?

what are you doing today? here's my plan...

i hope you have a happy day :)

inhale, exhale.

excerpt from my yoga teacher training application:

"about six months ago, i lost a close family member in a tragic accident. through the grieving process, i thought deeply about how i want to live my life and realized that among other things, it includes teaching yoga. simply put, i have learned that there is no better time to follow my dreams than the present moment."

ladies and gentlemen, yesterday i found out i was accepted to the kripalu teaching program! i haven't yet ironed out the details of when i'll be going, but i am giddy with excitement. thanks for all your encouragement along the way.

champagne for everyone!

(photo credit: the spiritual health)

our honeymoon.

simon and i have been brainstorming our honeymoon since the day we got engaged (priorities, you know). this weekend i think we made a final decision and we are so psyched...

can you guess where? (update: you guys are good! we're going to new zealand!)

(photo credits: amy & kimball, dubois09, colros)

craving cozy.

this morning was a wee bit emotional and stressful for me. for reasons that are both silly and justifiable, i suddenly felt my eyes welling up.

so, my friends and i went for a quick starbucks run. their company along with a pumpkin spice latte cheered me right up.

that's not to say, that i wouldn't feel even better if i could also put on some sweat pants and snuggle with a cat or dog...

too cute, huh?

so, tell me, what do you do when you want to be comforted and cozy?

sipping yumminess,

(photo credits: ug and dream beam)

life lesson # 3

i am a huge crier. frankly, it's a little embarrassing. but what i have discovered is that a simple hug can make all the difference. even if whatever is upsetting me is still my reality, a hug makes me feel loved and safe. and ultimately that hug comforts and empowers me enough that i can start to rationally solve the problem...

so, if you ever see me crying, wrap your arms around me and squeeze, ok?

on being a wife.

i've been through many phases in my life, but i never imagined that i would be as excited as i am about being a wife. i consider myself a feminist, but the more i think about marrying simon, the more i realize how much i am looking forward to everything that is traditionally considered "domestic".

i would love to have a kitchenaid, maybe even a yellow one. i want to sew things. i want to be in charge of our family photo albums, and christmas traditions, and buying pumpkins every halloween.

i want to cook deliciously healthy meals, bake birthday cakes and most importantly, eat them with my husband. and perhaps most surprising of all... i am head over heels excited to take simon's last name.

i guess being a real feminist means being able to do whatever you want to do. and as it turns out... what i want to do is be very married. :)

so, to those of you who are wives, i would love to hear your thoughts... how has being married changed you? and what has surprised you the most?

p.s. joanna is currently featuring a series called secrets to happy marriages. i am loving it; check it out.

(photo credit: oh my deer)

my weekend!

on saturday we were by the ocean in maine and suddenly my love uttered those four little words: "will you marry me?" yes! (of course.)

being the genius that he is, simon planned the surprise perfectly and it truly was the best day of my life. both sets of parents were nearby and enveloped us in hugs. and then we celebrated with champagne.

we are so excited, and i'm already calling him my "fancy".

life lesson # 2

i tried my first zumba dance class last night, and it was so much fun! i think shaking my booty is one of my favorite things in the world.

do you like dancing? have you ever tried zumba?

a different kind of mug shot.

as you all know, i am a coffee snob.

but the truth is, my snobbery doesn't end there. i am also a mug snob. that's right. i believe that coffee should only be sipped from design-licious receptacles.

so, imagine my excitement when i saw these amazing tea and coffee cups. quick! someone save me from myself before i buy them all!

absolutely genius mug from brookish, inspired by the pride and prejudice scene when jane gets engaged to mr. bingley. a lady's imagination is very rapid, you know!

i love traveling by train, so i did a little dance when i saw this train window mug from esther coombs. and the yellow is sublime, no?

this mug is red and has a bicycle on it. need i say more? by circa ceramics.

it's seafoam green and retro-tastic? oh my! from milk glass vintage.

now i'm curious...do you have a favorite mug that you use every day? what do you love about it?

xo,