as this year comes to a close, and i'm hitting the six month mark since i quit my full-time job, i've been doing a lot of thinking. i would be lying if i said the transition hasn't had its ups and downs.
some days, i just wish it would be easier. even as i make progress (i'm now teaching an average of two-three yoga classes a week) and good things happen (students coming up to me after class and telling me they loved it) it still feels altogether too slow. i'm impatient. and uncomfortable. and worried about failing at every moment.
i try to remind myself that being outside of my comfort zone is a good thing; it's where growth happens. but sometimes people say (unintentionally) hurtful things, and my self esteem plummets. the other day i was referred to as someone who "doesn't work." my heart ached. "maybe it's true," i thought. maybe this is how the world views me?
as a friend once told me, it's easy to dismiss "work" that can't be measured in titles, raises, and promotions. a lot of people don't understand why i wouldn't want to have a "career" in the way that they do.
but the good news is i love teaching yoga. i'm just crossing my fingers for more yoga classes in the new year, and perhaps another job too.
so, my dear readers, i'd love to hear if any of you have any thoughts to share on this subject. freelancers, moms, artists, and fellow yoga teachers... have you experienced similar things? how do you deal with people who aren't supportive of your life choices?
p.s. while i'm on this subject, i'm happy to announce that i now teach yoga at soni yoga studio in burlington. i have a regular class on wednesdays, at 10 a.m. and will be subbing often too. please come join me, and say hello! :) beginners welcome.
(photo credit: ismay ozga)
hi nina - your post is so wonderfully honest and just what i needed to hear! i also recently quit my job to pursue my creative side full time and there are short spurts of great, amazing, wonderful successes and a lot of waiting and slow stuff in between. it is so much harder than i ever thought it would be, but in the end, i try to hold on to the fact that i made this choice to be happiest in the long run and i just have to keep at it. i think ill be most successful at what im happiest doing. i also had a dear dear friend refer to me as "unemployed" and comment on how jealous she was of all of my free time even though i work so hard 7 days a week. i guess it's hard for people to understand. keep it up!! im sure you will end up in the career you envision :) xo izabella
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I'm a stay at home mom, but i also work as a photographer and i have an etsy shop for accessories. I rarely have a free non working day but most people (including my husband) just think i'm lazing around all day watching tv. Yes i may not bring in as much money as others, but I love what i do and it makes me feel good. Plus i get to be home to raise my daughter. Remember that if it's something you love and you find it fufilling and your bills are getting paid then there's nothing to worry about. And the next time someone says something that hurts you, remember that these are the people who often complain the most about their work. it's so stressful, so frustrating, don't make enough money, ect. All jobs have that but if you love it it won't bother you as much as it bothers them. :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, it doesn't matter how the world views you, it's how you view yourself. I have never had a "career" so to speak. I am a mom that worked part time while my kids were growing up and I always told my "jobs" that my kids were my "career". Following your joy isn't always easy, but if it makes you happy that is all that matters. I started a non profit a few years ago, and I had alot of people in my life asking me why. To me that was a no brainer, it was a dream of mine and no matter what I wanted to make a difference in this world, it's not about money to me in this life, it's about giving back. So dear Nina, follow your bliss, there will be bumps in the road, but they will only lead you to the path that you were meant to be on. Warm hugs and much love sent your way! xxoo :)
ReplyDeletethanks guys, you are all so right!! i love seeing these long responses too. makes my heart swell. :)
ReplyDeleteit's true. even blogging... i don't have a full time job so to speak and i become totally bashful to say "i'm a blogger." without a paycheck, i don't think it's really legit. but hey, moms don't get a paycheck and that's a job, right??
ReplyDeleteif i am ever in burlington (and i am sometimes! i love burlington mall... anthro... free people... lululemon... best!) i may come by and check out your yoga class!
bah, i just wrote this longish note and it got deleted. but basically, i agree with this post. some of the most legit jobs are those that don't carry a hoity toity title and a big paycheck.
ReplyDeleteand i am in burlington from time to time! can't beat their mall with a free people, anthro, and lululemon! perhaps i will come by your yoga class :)
Nina, you have to ignore people like that. Of course you work!!! To suggest anything else is pure ignorance. You are one of the most inspiring people I know, and I really admire/look up to you for going with a career you love and are passionate about. That is more than most people can say. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeletemost people don't know any other way to define themselves besides through their job. even if it's a job they hate (which sadly for many people is the case). you are incredibly strong for refusing to settle in a life that doesn't line up with your passions, and for pursuing something that makes you truly happy. i'm going on my fourth month now of living in a new city, looking for work that makes my heart sing, and i have a hard time explaining it to people. it takes a lot of guts to refuse to settle, and you are doing exactly that. continue pursuing your passion & work as a yoga teacher. do what you love, and people eventually will be envious of & inspired by the happiness & fulfillment that permeates every moment of your day!
ReplyDeletexo meg
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what makes you happy!!!
ReplyDeleteLauren
www.laurensthoughts.com
Oh Nina...I so hear you! I went through many, many struggles when I decided to go freelance. I would have short bursts of success followed by the sound of crickets. It often felt like for every step forward, there were five steps back...and it took a toll on my self-esteem. I came so close to giving up.
ReplyDeleteTwo years later, I am so incredibly happy that I stuck with it- not only do I have a thriving freelance job, but my flexibility allows me to stay home with my baby, which is the single most important job in the world (in my humble opinion!). One of the best boosters that I have is a supportive husband- he comes home every day and lets me know what a great job I am doing, even on those days where it feels like I am doing a whole lotta nothing!
Stay strong and keep believing that you are on the right track for YOU- and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
i think that when someone says something like that what it really means is:
ReplyDeletehey nina, you're living this life that is different than mine and different than most people's lives that i know and because of that i have you in "not working category"."
and to continue in the refreshing vein of honesty that this post contains i also think when some people say things like this they are probably really saying:
"a part of me wishes i was brave enough or blessed enough financially to be able to take a leap like this, but i'm not at that place for whatever reason and something inside me aches for the life you have and because i cannot have it and thus i am sort of afraid of it i find the need to define it in potentiall hurtful terms."
i'd throw out the whole idea of working generally. if you are alive you are working: working at staying alive, working at loving people, working at overcoming fears and anger, working at whatever it is this big ole world gifted you with and called you to. regardless of whether you are "working employed" you are, like most people, trying to live a purposeful life that honors your gifts. that is admirable.
i currently am at a more traditional medical clinic job, but have had times in my life where i've been a seamstress and had an informal pie business. authenticity to a purpuseful life is really what counts.
thank you guys so much.... you're the best!
ReplyDeleteAw, Nina! You are beautiful and you're right where you're supposed to be. AND, you aren't alone. I do temp work and a little bit of freelancing, but most people don't think I have a 'real job.' It can be so hard to deal with sometimes - especially today, when folks are so career-driven and focused on 'success' - but how do you define success? For me, success means I can live without constant stress and worry. There can be a better way, and you are so awesome for finding your own better way. I have such admiration for you! I hope you can look back at these comments again and again when you're feeling low.
ReplyDeleteNina! What would the world be if everyone worked in an office 9-5? BORING! We need people like you who take chances and follow dreams and do something different. Most people are too scared to go the movies alone, so of course they will try to put down your chosen career. You know that you work, so if someone is so thoughtless to say anything different, he or she obviously isn't signed up for one of your classes. Who's loss is that?
ReplyDeleteJust today I got a part time job teaching English to immigrants in Philadelphia through a literacy center. I am so excited because this is what I want to do with my life, even if it means keeping my silly waitressing job and still doing cheap or free ESL tutoring at night. And you will do the same, because you want to be a yoga teacher. And remember that the people who really matter will always support you.
I think that "work" shouldn't be work. I think you should spend your life doing what you love, and if that is teaching yoga, then I say do it. It doesn't matter if anybody else approves, as long as you are happy. And from what you say on here, it seems like you honestly love your job, so I say go for it!
ReplyDeleteLife's too short to worry about doing what other people expect to you do, or to waste any time not being happy.
<3 Kiersten
Oh, I'm sorry someone said you "don't work." That can be so demoralizing. But it's absolutely not true! Keep doing what you love, and I think things will pick up even more. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a recent follower of your blog but a daily reader, and I just wanted to say that you truly inspire me...I wish I had the guts to live "out of my comfort zone", not to mention the passion to follow something I feel so strongly about. I'm still trying to figure that out and envy you for having that. I think most people are just jealous that they can't understand why you wouldn't want to live a monotonous life...it seems like no one understands what it's like to be different and follow your dreams. Anyway, keep being yourself and know that you inspire people who you don't even know on a daily basis. :)
ReplyDelete"i try to remind myself that being outside of my comfort zone is a good thing; it's where growth happens." SO true. I need to do this more. And then one day maybe i will also step out of my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found your blog x
same boat. but you know that. xo
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was 'What's wrong with not working? That's great! That's my goal!'
ReplyDelete~Not in a bad way! I think if we're doing what we love it's a different kind of work.
Just keep swimming! ;)
I agree with all of these fabulous comments! What a support group! You all rock.
I hear you for sure. I'm a yoga teacher/massage therapist and people see that as "not working". I used to work in law and the values that people hold as important do revolve around money and importance.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that working part time for myself and looking after our house etc was as valid a job as any other. As you teach more and more and meet more and more teachers and therapists things will fall into place for you. I promise :)
Nina, know that you are absolutely an inspiration to those who are, or wish to someday follow their own path. I read your words everyday because you are proof that it's possible to follow your passion. I hope to one day fully pursue my own true dream. The expectations and opinions of others can be almost paralyzing; people quickly judge that which they don't understand. Don't let the jealousy and ignorance of others make you question your choice to pursue your true path. Doing what you love will naturally lead to great success, because your heart and soul is in it. Keep pushing yourself!
ReplyDeleteI am in the process of deciding what I want to do (I'm twenty and just got married). Husband is a huge fan of me doing something/anything that I want to do because I am in a situation where he is making enough money for us both, but I neeeeed something for myself to do on a daily basis. So it might as well be something I love, because I'm doing it for me!
ReplyDeleteI already feel the pressure of people we know who may not be as lucky to get to choose a job based on how much they love it rather than how much money it will make them. I've decided that since there will always be people who don't understand, I HAVE to ignore them. Some people say things that are rude because they actually wish that they didn't have to go to their boring job every day. It's awful to be happy and then have your happiness ruined by people who don't get it.
You're amazing! Keep it up! xoxo
I'd like to second what Alycia said - how boring would it be if everyone worked in an office from 9-5 everyday? Or if women were still expected to fill only the roles of teacher, nurse, or secretary (which we're not even allowed to say anymore!)? Just think about how far we've come in the past generation - you are breaking ground for OUR future daughters, and for that, I thank you! :) You're an inspiration to a new way of doing things - what's most important is that the work you are doing (paid or not) is making YOU happy. I, for one, am very proud of you for following your dreams. Quitting a full-time job in this economy is scary... I know, I'm now a full-time student living on loans and babysitting again at the age of 29! There are a few people who questioned my motivation for going to grad school, but I know it was the right decision for me, and that's what keeps me in the library. xo
ReplyDeleteNina: As a woman who works in the corporate world and wouldn't have it any other way, I might be able to offer some insight into what the person was thinking when they said it. I doubt they meant to demoralize in any way...I think actually, it's a little bit about envy.
ReplyDeleteTo those of us who work office jobs, sometimes, anything that seems like fun doesn't seem like work...because our days are totally not fun but offer us a "spark" in a different way. So...if I see a woman who's job looks like fun instead of "work" from my perception, I might not think of it the same way...it's just that no matter how much I love the corporate environment, sometimes I wish I could do something that appeared fun.
I think of authors like this. I love to write. When I think of an author, I don't think of them as "working", I think of them as being authors. Is that a good attitude to take (because they do work very, very hard)? I don't know...but I do know that part of me is very envious of authors so I don't mean it in a bad way.
I don't know if that helps at all, but from some eyes, what you do is something they wish they could do...and anything we wish we could do seems less like "work" and more like living life.
Much Love,
Mercedes
Wow....I hope all these lovely responses have helped you know you're not alone. So many of us are not following a traditional path and it can be so scary and hard! All sorts of fears and feelings of insecurity try so hard to pop their heads up and distract us with negativity. You followed your heart and you're building your dreams. That takes so much courage! Feed that to anyone or any feeling that doubts you ;) Each one of us who takes these risks, inspires everyone else who feels the same way. Inhale patience, exhale all that isn't serving you at this time.
ReplyDelete"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."
Henry David Thoreau
I'm an improv comedian (at Improv Asylum, in the North End, if you're ever looking for something new to do!) and I have a day job - but mainly to "pay the bills". I consider my "career" comedy - and I shout it out loud. Even people at my day job understand that I'm pursuing a career in comedy. During one of my shows, someone jokingly opened the show and said "None of us work, we're poor comedians." and I was offended! I do work, I work VERY hard (and most often for free!) but when most people retire from their day and go home to relax and sleep, I have to get ready for another show. But I love what I do - and it's very important to be happy. If "working" means being miserable in a job that you're not passionate about, then that's not worth it. Next time someone says you don't work, just politely respond with, "Well, I do work, just not in the traditional sense." You're doing great!
ReplyDeletei love you all. these are the longest, most thoughtful compliments i've ever received on the blog. thank youuuuuu!
ReplyDeleteNina, what a refreshing, honest post. I think you're inspiring, dedicated, passionate, and so kind-hearted! You're living what you love, and might not truly appreciate it as much if things weren't a little scary now & then. I am thrilled that you're following your dreams, and promise to help you in any possible way I can.
ReplyDeleteThat picture is divine.
ReplyDeleteI am sure everything will come together.
I admire your boldness.
I don't understand people who say things like that, though I like to think that they aren't intentionally being hurtful or rude. Nina, I am a relatively new follower (around the time of your wedding) and I adore this space. I read your blog every day, and need to start commenting more if only to echo what everyone else is asserting: you rock. And you inspire me. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you're going through right now as I am going through something similar. I quit my day job in late July and haven't figured out all that much in my time off. I got married, honeymooned, and now that that is over I spend my days blogging pretty much all day. I've learned how to do some things such as knitting and other crafts and I've definitely got in touch with my creative side. But we are planning on moving away from Chicago soon so getting a full time job wouldn't be right, so I am in a kind of limbo at the moment. I really want to open a shop when we move so I guess I've sort of figured things out but I can't do it on my own and I don't really know where to start so...that's how I feel! Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeletei just adore this! i really needed it today. currently, i'm taking a break from school, trying to do full time work in order to move out of my mom's house AND get back into school, so i'm very much taking the road less taken and get a lot of flack from family members and friends for it, but it's ultimately a life i have loved living over this past year and just looking back on how much my life has improved since taking that road has made all the difference! i wish you good luck! :)
ReplyDeleteNina, I love your blog and the way you are living your life and following your dreams. There is a saying (quote?) I can't remember the exact wording but it goes 'what are you going to do with your one wild wonderful life?' you inspire me... And not just to give yoga one final try to see if i can 'get' it :-)
ReplyDeleteSweet Nina, I am so sorry these comments are in your world. Years ago, I left my job because of health reasons, and still have yet to return. Although I'm recovering (slowly), the intimate details about why I don't "work" haven't been shared with the masses, and I am constantly riddled with negative comments from them and even from loved ones who are aware of my situation. What I have learned from this is that what people think of me shouldn't matter as much as it does. My husband and I are comfortable with my choice, and someday he actually hopes that I, like you, become a yoga teacher, or a photographer, or an astronaut, or whatever it is that I need that will make me happy. Remember if you are happy, your husband will be, and it will make his life and work easier. I try to let the comments roll off of me now, although at times given my state, or the situation, or the person, they still do stick... my I always try to remind myself that I know what's right for me. I remember attending Kimberly's yoga retreat with you YEARS ago, and am thrilled to see that now the student has become the master. You are living the dream, girl, and you deserve it!! More work will come when it's time, and my advice to you is to just stay in the moment. Peace and Love, Carrie (the photo taker from our retreat)
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Nina ~
ReplyDeleteSean and I receive comments like this on a daily basis (even from our own family members!). Once we finally learned to ignore the cynics and pessimists out there who do not understand the importance of "following your dreams", we were able to bloom, grow, and find peace with every decision we made/make. Being 'self-employed', a mama, a small business owner, a yoga instructor, an artist, etc. ~ all these 'hats' take effort, discipline, focus, education, and lots of time. In fact, sometimes I feel a regular 9-5 job might be easier, but I wouldn't trade all my hats for anything in the world. Sure, it's hard to get by some months in terms of income, etc., but the pros completely outweigh the cons. Doing what you love every. single. day is more important than anything else when it comes to 'work' ~ we only have ONE life to live. So I don't know about you, but I want to LIVE it doing what makes my heart beat happiest, don't you?
Nina,
ReplyDeleteOk... I am a little late responding to this, but I really wanted to add my amen to these comments! Your post really touched me and HIT HOME MAJOR. I opened my art shop selling my prints online in September and it is a total rollercoaster! It's amazing how hard it is sometimes to pursue what you love, especially because not everyone understands or thinks passion is more important than money. Also, I know for me, my art is a part of me and because of that I take things more personally too and have to remind myself not to! I've been doing my shop on the side along with working a full time and a part time job... trying to save up money! This week I just gave my full time job (in an office- blah!) my two weeks notice! Now I will be working my part time job (in a pottery studio- love, love, love) and trying to grow my business. It is scary... It really is, but I am so excited and so happy to know I will pursue what I am passionate about! I'm right there with ya, and you have really been inspiring to me as I've made this leap! Let's be in touch! xo, Kate
Oh, my dear. I left seven months ago (give or take) and I feel very much the same. I am recognizing that things feel slow mostly because we live in a world where faster is always better (or so we're told) and it's hard to remember that everything in nature teaches us that there are seasons: seasons for creation and seasons for rest. Learning to follow my own seasons is hard because I've never learned to do it. I've been telling people that things are going well and I'm learning to rest .. and they mostly seem to wish that they could do the same. (Which is not to say that I'm not working, just that it looks so different than before that to others, and sometimes to me, it does look like I'm not doing anything. It is an interesting thing to learn to navigate.)
ReplyDeleteHi nina, i say you hi from Colombia! :) more than words i wanted to share with you a song, hope you like it, here is the link
ReplyDeleteJordin Sparks - One step at a time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIE5QtkxzvM
I grew up with a mom who worked as an artist and teacher. She has never had a traditional 9-5 job since I was growing up, but she works harder than anyone I know.
ReplyDeleteI think it's just hard for people to adjust to the fact that you're working in a different way than they're used to - and probably one that they're jealous of. Who wouldn't love to do what they love? I think there are very few people who are willing to take the risk of quitting their steady and somewhat boring full time job and jumping into the unknown in the way you have. Keep it up!!!!
As a personal fitness trainer & aspiring writer, I would say that no one really supports my career choices. (I work at a mortgage company right now to pay the bills) Its hard to ignore the critics, but you have no other options. This is YOUR life & you dont live for anybody else. So do what you love as long as it makes you happy. Good things will come if you work hard & remain humble & patient....I'm sure you'll get more classes in the new year.
ReplyDeleteThere are always going to be people who disagree with what you do, what you say, and how you say it, but if you are able to establish a strong sense of self and allow for people to have their opinions, it will be easier to let the previously insulting things roll off of you. People in our society are addicted and extremely attached to the idea of a 9-5 job, the good news is, there are more than a million ways to be successful and joyful in life in the absence of this paradigm. It is often much more efficient to make your own hours in a job that you love to do, not to mention it allows for much more creativity. Stand up for a life that is not consumed by a time card and allow for the process. :)
ReplyDelete